A Comprehensive Survey of 450 x 600mm Whiteboards and Whiteboard-Related Materials Available at officeworks.com.au

For those of you unfortunate enough to need a whiteboard and be close enough to an Officeworks that you cannot be bothered going elsewhere, this guide might prove to be invaluable.

Whiteboards

Officeworks Magnetic Whiteboard, 450 x 600 - OW5A

$39.00. Avoid at all costs, if it is "made" by Officeworks, it will dissolve into its constituent plastics petrochemicals after a few months or if you look at it wrong. Not worth even thinking about for another moment.

Penrite Aluminium Frame Melamine Whiteboard, 450 x 600 - COQML0456R

$39.00. Seems reasonable, not magnetic but shrug, that's why we have a fridge, right? PS: wtf is "melamine"?

Quartet Pine Frame Whiteboard - 450 x 600 - COCM0456

$17.28. While a pine frame sounds appealing, it will be that same thin, anaemic, 3-year-old new-growth crap pine that they use in $2 shops. Pass.

Penrite Magnetic Whiteboard - 450 x 600 - COPWP0456

$65.98. Apparently similar in design to the non-magnetic COQML0456R, I can only feel that the sheet of steel required to provide proper interaction with magnetic fields cannot really be worth $25. Still, if the build quality is significantly higher than its cousin, it may be worth it. Not available in Victoria or Western Australia, due to local laws banning the import of fruits and ferrous materials, no doubt.

Quartet Designer Whiteboard - 450 x 600 - COQT07440

$24.98. LOL. They peg it at designers but don't price it accordingly? FAIL.

Quartet Dry Erase Whiteboard - 450 x 600 - COQT75112B

$53.87. An intriguing unit, no actual features other than being a whiteboard, yet it comes at an astronomical price. They should have made this one black and called it "designer". What could possibly cause such a dichotomy? Solid materials? Quality build? If so... buy buy buy!

Pens

Pentel

These are the whiteboard pens that you see grazing in vast numbers around offices and tutorial rooms, all round the world. One sees such large herds due to natural selection breeding them to lose their ink after a few pen strokes, causing them to be discarded by their hosts almost immediately and permitting breeding to commence sooner — The "wet" period is constitutes adolescence for the species. Avoid at all costs, they are vicious if cornered.

STAEDTLER (sic)

The Roles Royce of the writing implement world. I notice they thoughtfully come in a pack of 4, allowing one to purchase these fine whiteboard markers at a fraction of the individual cost. Even the proletariat could afford these quality markers for use as a cooking fuel for special occasions!

Artline

The Holden/GM/Nissan of the marker world. If they are good enough for everyone else, they're probably not good enough for me. Or you.

Expo

These make the Pentels look like STAEDTLERs.

Officeworks

These make Expos look like STAEDTLERs. Also c.f. remark about their boards.

An so concludes the survey. Next up, another comprehensive survey of the many ways in which their web site sucks.